ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
