if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
