Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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