so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
