she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
