They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize