she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
