Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
