It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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