"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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