Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
