Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
