Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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