We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
