i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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