matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
