I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize