Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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