i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
