Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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