After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
