We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
