He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
