you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
dude. I can hear the air.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
