cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
