I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
