so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize