You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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