if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
