I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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