dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
