they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
