Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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