it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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