just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
