covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
