I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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