My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
