woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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