My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
