I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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