the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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