I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
