Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
