At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
