I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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