im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
