I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize