I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I came so hard my ears popped.
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