Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
