If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
