He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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