Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
