In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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