I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
