After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
