The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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