ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
