yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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