The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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