Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
