So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
